


Smokestacks

by andchaos



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, MWPP Era, Marauders, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2014-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-18 01:12:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2329805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andchaos/pseuds/andchaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the first Wizarding War swells, even the students at Hogwarts start to realize that the danger is imminent. In one night meant for work, some firewhiskey and a game of truth or dare help Lily and James sift through their fear and somehow find each other in the darkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smokestacks

**Author's Note:**

> warnings for drinking (but I guess they're of age in the wizarding world) and smoking

          “Aren’t you afraid of anything?” Lily sighed, glancing over at James before turning her gaze out towards the lawns. She could see for miles from here; she thought she might even be able to see the thatched rooftops of Hogsmeade, although it might have just been a particularly strange tree on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. “I mean, you’ve already snuck us up to the _only_ off-limits tower; could you at least keep the magic to a minimum? Isn’t the Head Boy supposed to be _mature_?”

          “I’m afraid of you, a little bit,” said James, waving his wand again so that the light show in front of them disappeared. “Come on, I thought you’d like the view. And the fireworks.”

          “But I don’t like getting in trouble,” she said, rolling her eyes at him. “Especially when we’re supposed to be the prime examples for the school. Why couldn’t we do this in the common room?”

          “I didn’t want to wake anyone,” he said, shrugging, but she was pretty sure he had some sort of alternative motive for bringing her to an illicit location with a beautiful view.

          “Right, right. Well, can we at least finish fleshing out the prefects’ patrol schedule before we get sidetracked even more?”

          James cocked an eyebrow. “All work and no play, aren’t you?” he said, but he raised his hands when she leveled a glare at him, pushed away from the railing, and sat cross-legged in front of the plans they had laid out on the floor, gesturing for her to join him. She sat across from him, tying up her dark autumn hair and picking up a piece of parchment covered in prefects’ names.

          “Well, we only have to fit four more into the rotation,” she said, chewing on her lip as she scanned James’s writing. “If Riley and that Avery bloke go together—”

          “Why are you putting the Slytherin with the Gryffindor?” James asked, alarmed. “They’ll kill each other!”

          “Because it’s either him or that Greengrass boy—”

          “Well, he’s a Ravenclaw!” said James, reaching out for the parchment. “He’ll do.”

          “He will _not_ ,” she said, tugging the list out of his reach. “They broke up two weeks ago, we can’t put them on patrol together!”

          “They were going together? I thought she hated him!”

          “Well, she obviously didn’t,” said Lily, tapping her quill against her lip as she thought. “But if you really think Avery’s a risk—”

          “Of course he’s a risk!”

          “Your bigotry is _not_ a necessary input, thank you,” she said, shooting him an icy look. “I know you don’t trust me on this, but the Slytherins aren’t—”

          “Evans—”

          “No, you listen to me—”

          “Lily—”

          “Don’t interrupt me—”

          “Lily!” James hissed, jumping to his feet and shushing her again. “Shut up, I think I hear something!”

          “From the castle?” she asked, also getting to her feet, but he was facing the opposite direction, out towards the grounds again. She joined him at the railing, one hand sneaking out to grasp his arm. “What is that?” she whispered.

          “Nothing,” he said, but he didn’t sound confident. He was staring out towards where she had thought she could see Hogsmeade, only the landscape looked different somehow, less calm. Something orange and red was lighting the horizon. Her grip on his arm tightened, and he said, “I’m sure it’s nothing, we should just go back to work.”

          But he didn’t move away from the edge of the Astronomy Tower.

          “James,” she whispered, her grip slipping down his arm to capture his hand. He turned to her, surprised, but she was still staring out towards the commotion disturbing the night. “Is that fire?”

          “Aberforth probably left his cigar lit again,” he said, tightening his hand around hers in what should have been a reassuring gesture. “Probably left it lit and fell asleep…” She shivered, although the autumn hadn’t properly set in yet and the night was relatively warm and breezeless. It was a testament to their fear that the thought of Aberforth accidentally setting his house and pub on fire was meant to be _reassuring_.

          “You don’t think it’s— _him_ , do you?” she asked, peering up at James through the dark. “I mean, he can’t get this close to the school, right? Professor Dumbledore swore we were safe, he swore Voldemort couldn’t get this close.”

          “We’re safe,” James assured her, but he, too, had his eyes on the bright light in the distance, and he seemed unsure.

          “No, we’re not,” she said, slowly. Her throat felt clouded and choked, like the smoke in the distance was strangling her from here. But she was not going to cry in front of James Potter.

          “We’re safe here,” he said again.

          “There’s a war,” she whispered fiercely, almost angrily. “There’s a war, maybe right over there. How are you so calm?”

          “I trust Dumbledore,” said James, sounding stronger, more sure. “Don’t you?”

          She gave a dry laugh. “Easy to do when you’re not in danger,” she said coolly, but she could hear the undercurrent of hysteria and hoped James wouldn’t notice. “When everything falls to pieces, they’re coming after people like me. You’re safe.”

          He turned to her suddenly, like he was scandalized. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. We’re _both_ safe. And honestly, you can protect yourself far better than I can.” He paused, taking a deep breath, and she gazed up at him, wanting to believe him. Wanting his certainty to seep into her bones and warm her, steady her so that she could at least pretend to stand as steadfastly as he was. “Come on,” he coaxed her, and she could hear how he forced mischief into his tone. “Come on, let’s sit down. I’ll take your mind off it if you promise not to tell anyone what I’ve got.”

          As he guided her back to the floor, their backs against the wall, she asked, “What have you got?” She did not entirely forget what was going on behind them, but she allowed the distraction in the name of slowing her heartbeat, which was so fast that she was beginning to feel like the walls were collapsing in on her.

          “Finest firewhiskey in Hogsmeade,” he said, pulling a flask out of his cloak. “Only you can’t tell anyone that I keep it on me for emergencies.”

          “What emergencies did you imagine might arise tonight?” she asked, torn between suspicion and disapproval.

          “I don’t know, but good thing I was prepared, huh?” he said pointedly.

          Left without a counterargument, she accepted the offer and drank deeply. Warmth immediately rushed down her throat and spread to her extremities. James took a sip and offered her more; she accepted, and, feeling a little lighter as she passed it back, she said, “Truth or dare.”

          James raised his eyebrows. “Truth,” he said cautiously.

          She thought for a second, twisting her mouth to the side and examining the stones on the castle. Eventually she settled on, “What’s your real problem with Severus?”

          James sighed, fiddling with the cap on the flask. “Well, nowadays it’s how he treats everyone. Like he’s better than them, even though he’s not. And the crowd he hangs out with…they’re not headed for anything good.”

          She cocked her had to the side, considering him. She immediately caught his reluctance to tell the full story. “And in the beginning?”

          James refused to meet her eyes. “Mostly it was how he treated you,” he admitted, rolling his head to the side to look at her. “It wasn’t just friendship…he coveted you. It wasn’t right.” After a lengthy pause, in which his cheeks faded from red back to their normal colour, he added, “Do you mind if I smoke?”

          She waved her hand to indicate that she did not care, and he reached back into his robes and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He cupped one hand around the small fire he lit from his wand until the cigarette caught flame, then drew it from his lips and breathed out a long pillar of smoke.

          “D’you want one?”

          “I haven’t smoked since I was fifteen,” she said.

          “How come?” he asked. After his next pull, he carefully blew the smoke out away from her.

          She shrugged. He passed her the flask again and, as she drank from it, said, “Truth or dare.”

          After brief consideration, she said, “Truth,” not entirely trusting what he might dare her to do.

          “Why haven’t you smoked since you were fifteen?” he asked with a wry smile.

          She breathed a small laugh and elbowed him in the arm for his cheekiness, but answered, “My mum caught me on the back porch summer before fifth year. I went two more months without it and then I just…I don’t know, never picked up the habit again.”

          “Ever crave it?”

          “Only when I’ve been drinking,” she said, pointedly taking another sip of the firewhiskey. She held the flask in her lap when she was done and asked, “Truth or dare?”

          James hummed thoughtfully. “Truth.”

          “Are you just gonna keep picking truth?” she asked, smiling at him.

          “Is that the question?” he countered.

          She rolled her eyes again. “Fine. _Why_ do you keep picking truth?”

          “I don’t trust you not to dare me to jump off this tower,” he said promptly. At her expression of mock offense, he raised both hands. “You’ve certainly told me to enough times, I didn’t want to get caught between actually doing so and going back on the sacred bond that is truth or dare.”

          “I only say that when you’re being a prat,” said Lily. “Guess that means I’m braver than you, after all.”

          “Oh yeah?”

          “Definitely,” she said, nodding fervently and fighting a smile. “Go on, ask me.”

          “Truth or dare?”

          “Dare,” she said.

          As James opened his mouth, determination flooded her system, but before he could say anything a loud _bang_ sounded from behind them. Lily started to jump up, but James grabbed her wrist, tethering her to the ground.

          “Don’t look,” he whispered as she turned on him, half-crouching, eyes wild. He entwined their fingers again, squeezing once. “Don’t look,” he repeated. “It’s nothing. It’s okay. We’re okay.”

          She wanted to argue, but not as much as she wanted to believe him. So she closed her eyes, insufflated deeply, and sat back down next to him, keeping their hands threaded together to remind herself that she was not alone. Another bang came from behind them, even louder than before, and James squeezed her hand so tightly that she wasn’t sure for whose benefit he did it.

          “James,” she whispered when her heartbeat wouldn’t slow, staring up at him. She didn’t know what she expected him to do, and he didn’t move, just looked back at her.

          “We’re okay,” he said again, less sure. Trying to convince himself.

          She filled her lungs with clean air, washing away the feeling of that smoke suffocating her. James stubbed out his cigarette; after a minute or two she pulled her hair down, cold but feeling like she could breathe again. They sat in silence, passing the flask back and forth every time more noise came from the direction of the flames and destruction, holding onto each other.

          For a moment, Lily felt safe, and sure.

          “Truth or dare,” she said suddenly, with determination.

          James turned to her. She wasn’t fooling him either, with her fake calmness. Instead of calling her out on it, however, he muttered, “Dare.”

          She bit her lip, looking up at him. She could feel the balmy night against her skin, the firewhiskey burning in her stomach, and James’s hand still in hers. She felt very warm, and almost brave.

          “Kiss me,” she breathed.

          He faltered. One eyebrow rose, which made him look almost like himself. She smiled. He stuttered out, “W-what?”

          “Kiss me,” she said again, the boldness in her voice strengthening as her certainty faded, but just as she considered taking it back, James seemed to realize she was being serious. He lit up, all smug and arrogant again, and she wanted to erase the conceit from his face. Before he could move, she pushed herself up with her free hand and brought their lips together.

          He froze at first; she rather thought that she had wrong-footed him, or maybe he just couldn’t believe it was happening after so many years. After a few moments, though, he got it together, weaving one hand into her hair and keeping her there with him. She sat back, pulling him into her, and savored it all—the smell of him, all around her, better than the fresh air she had recently been attempting to pull into her lungs, and the feel of him beneath her palms and mouth. Their hands were still clasped together on the ground between them.

          After a minute or so James pulled back to get breath, and Lily pushed at him to give her some room to sit up properly. He moved back into his own space, watching her.

          “You look surprised,” she noted after awhile.

          “More like impressed,” he said, shaking off his shock. His usual air of arrogance came out, and he smirked. “I finally wore you down!”

          “Oh, please,” she grinned. “More like you deflated your head and there turned out to be someone bearable underneath!”

          He pushed her playfully and she fell back, laughing. “You like me!” he accused, pointing a finger at her. “You even like me with my big fat head. Admit it!”

          “Oh, fine,” she said after a split second of wondering whether she should give him the satisfaction. He whooped, then gave a loud, hearty laugh that threw his head back. “You’re impossible,” she added, shaking her head.

          “Oh, wait until I tell Sirius! I think he had a pool going with Remus and Peter—”

          “Yes, I think Dorcas and Marlene threw their bets in,” she said mournfully. “And probably Mary, too, she’s too nosy for her own good. I just hope Sirius didn’t win, I don’t know if I could stand to give him the satisfaction.”

          “He’ll be impossible,” said James cheerfully.

          She chewed on the inside of her cheek. “I suppose there’s no going back now, huh?” she said after a moment, watching her fingers play with his as though that would prevent him from seeing the red creeping into her cheeks.

          “What d’you mean?”

          “I mean, we’re—we—well, after all this…”

          James grinned at her. “Are you trying to ask me out?”

          “No!” she said stubbornly, cheeks aflame. “I mean…I’m not asking you to go steady, or anything. It’s just…if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade or something…I wouldn’t mind.”

          “After all these years…” he marveled.

          “Shut up!” she snapped, still blushing. “Is that a yes?”

          James pulled her back into him, kissing her harder than last time. “I’d be an idiot to say no,” he whispered, laying their foreheads together and twirling a piece of her hair around his finger. Lily smiled gently at him.

          Another boom shook the night, and they startled apart. Fear rushed back into her system, clearing her mind and freezing her skin. James wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and she put hers around his waist. They clung to each other for a long moment.

          “We’re safe,” James said, mouth moving against her hair as he reminded them both. “We’re safe.”

          _For now_ , she wanted to say, but whether that was pessimistic or realistic, she knew it would get them nowhere.

          She loosened her grip on him slightly. “Truth or dare,” she said instead.

          Contrarily, James tightened his hold on her. “Truth,” he breathed.

          “Aren’t you afraid of anything?” she coaxed. Pessimism might get them nowhere, but neither would lying to themselves.

          James didn’t speak for a long moment. Understanding his desire to maintain a strong front, Lily did not prompt him again, just fisted her hands into his cloak and nestled closer to his chest.

          After a long moment, James answered, so quietly she almost missed it.

          “Losing you,” he admitted.

          She nodded, and both of them kept silent after that. They just listened to the distant sounds of chaos, and held each other, and for a suspended moment, they stayed safe.


End file.
